Birthday and Surgery Celebration!

Well, tomorrow morning I head into Vanderbilt hospital at 5:30 A.M. God is already blessing me. Today I learned that they changed my stay from 3 days to just 2 days! Hooray! Ryan's mom got into town tonight and my mom will be flying into town on Thursday. It's been a great few days leading up to this stinky surgery. Ryan surprised me on my birthday with a pampering day from a really nice spa. I got a pedicure, manicure, AND a massage. It was wonderful. I teared up, I was so happy. They served me lunch, gave me a plush robe, slippers, and a neck warmer. I loved the neck warmer so much I bought one for myself. :) A birthday present to myself. God is blessing me even more with the fact that I have been in such good spirits. I am not fearing, I am not anxious, I'm just in "go mode" and praising God all the way. This morning I had a wonderful time with the Lord. My bible study lesson was about how God can reverse any negative element in His child's life and turn it into a positive. A coincidence? I think not! God is so good, this was just another affirmation that He is going to take care of me. I prayed this morning that God's glory will shine through this situation. Please join me in prayer. I am praying for the hospital staff, I am praying for a quick recovery, and I can't wait to see God's victory through this.

So tomorrow at 7:00 A.M. it is. The surgery will last 2 hours as long as everything goes well. If they find that my cysts is not a cysts than they will sew me back up (gross) and re-evaluate. Also, please help me pray that I will respond well to the pain medication and that I will not fear! Fear is not from the Lord.

Look how cute my hubby is...

This is right before we left for dinner on my birthday. Ryan took me to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. We both ate until we felt sick!

My manicure! Isn't it beautiful!!

Ryan woke me up and served me breakfast.

I only had 1! Please, I could barely even finish it!

And me enjoying one of my most wonderful birthdays!

My Cardiologist Appointment

Well it was another long day at Vanderbilt hospital, but not as long as my appointment last week so that's good! I had to see a cardiologist today for two reasons. 1: My chest pain and 2: To get cleared for surgery NEXT Tuesday. Ryan and I loved my doctor. She was so genuine and spent over 45 minutes with us! She ran several tests, a stress test, an ultra sound of my heart, and some blood work. The tests consisted of running in my feet (I didn't know I was going to be taking a stress test), being hooked up to many many wire things, cold gel on my chest, and 5 hours...I passed! However, they did find something very minimal. I have some fluid around my heart. It's not all around my heart (which is good) it's just around a section of my heart. It's also flowing very nicely and that's better than it being stagnant. I have to go back in a year to keep an eye on it. So, my heart doctor is leaning towards my chest pain being caused by a skeletal or muscular issue. I'm waiting to tackle all of this until after my surgery and after I have recovered. I would like to visit no more doctors until next Tuesday when I go into the hospital. I can only pray that my pain will subside a little.

Wise Beyond My Years?!

I have recently realized that I have many of the same characteristics of a stereotypical Grandmother. I'm pretty sure I could sleep anytime anywhere. I would go to bed at 8:00 most nights if my husband would let me. I love taking naps. I love sewing...quilts especially. I'm going to buy a pair of glasses this weekend. I would rather curly up on the couch with a blanket and read than go out on a night on the town. I am having surgery on my hip! And on Wednesday I have an appointment with a cardiologist!!

Which leads me into an update on my surgery. It's been an emotional roller coaster for me. Everyday is a good day! It's just that there are moments in those days where I get scared and the "what if's" creep into my mind. But I choose to speak truth to those negative thoughts. It's only human to think those things at times. And I need to confess that I'm having a hard time feeling thankful. People say, "Oh it's so great that they found this"! "What a blessing they caught it now". My initial reaction is, "I guess"? I don't feel thankful that I have to have this surgery. And I must confess that I have been dealing with anger. I'm not angry at God. I'm just frustrated and scared at times. I get discouraged, especially with the chest pain. But as I said before, I know that God has a plan for my life and I'm excited to see where this situation takes place in His will! Praise the Lord my pain is not worst than it is. Praise the Lord that the doctors are not worried about cancer! Praise the Lord I have my faith. And praise the Lord I have my husband, my family, and all of you!

In the meantime before next Tuesday, I'm keeping myself very busy! Last week I reupholstered a chair. I had never done that before. I found this chair at a flea market with a few of my girlfriends for $22! I couldn't find anyone to reupholster for less than $200. Which is really not that bad, but when you are on the Dave Ramsey plan, that's a lot of money. So I went out and bought a staple gun and became trigger happy. :) It's looks awesome! I'll post pics soon. Now I'm finishing up a quilt that I am making for my Grandmother. I want to get it done before my surgery. I'm fitting these 2 big projects in between grad school, dinners, cleaning, and seeing a few friends.

Please keep me in your prayers for Wednesday as we go for another lengthy visit at Vanderbilt hospital this Wednesday. I'm not worried that there is anything wrong with my heart. My oncologist is just taking precaution before I have surgery, which I appreciate. However, this doctor supposedly helps young women that deal with chest pain so I am a little hopeful and nervous all at the same time.

Something to look forward to this weekend is my birthday! I will be turning 28! Ryan has something planned for me, but he won't tell me! I hate surprises! I will keep you guys updated!

Surgery Smurgery...

For those of you who don't know it's been a very looong week. Last April they found a "giant cyst" inside my hip bone. View my older post "My Daily Battle" there's a lovely picture for those of you who really want to see it. Anyway, I go in for my 6 month follow up appointment last Thursday. On Tuesday, I get a phone call from a nurse. "Mrs. Crouse, Dr. Huxtable (no, that's not his real name for those of you who grew up watching the Cosby Show) wants you to see Dr. Cox (Scrubs anyone)". Kat now speaks, "Who is Dr. Cox"? Nurse: "Oh, I don't know I thought you would know". Kat: "No, I don't know who that is? Where is this Dr. located and why am I being referred"? Nurse: "I have no idea, let me call you back." Kat: "Yes, that would be wonderful for you to call me back with some actual information!

I got this phone call at work, call Superman (aka my hubby) at work crying. Superman is irritated and says, "Baby, don't worry I will take care of this". Fast forward a few hours later and Ryan gently breaks the information that I will be seeing an oncologist. So let me put the past few days in a nutshell. Many frustrating phone calls. Go to 2 hospitals and pick up every X-ray, CT scan, and MRI that has been taken on my hip area, extreme chest pain, "Could I really have bone cancer?", "I feel like my heart is going to explode", the day before my oncologist appointment was awful, chest pain so bad we debated going to the er, Ryan holds me numerous times as I cry...weep, Isaiah 41:10, I hope mom is okay, many phone calls from friends and family, I am so thankful for them, I am so thankful for my faith, "Why?", go to Vanderbilt hospital to the oncologist cancer center, there for 7 hours, saw at least 8 different doctors, Dr. Elliot is my oncologist surgeon, LOVE her! She is sensitive, genuine, and gives me a sense that she is going to take care of me. Need to have surgery soon, 3 days in the hospital, and 3 weeks recovery, you will still be able to have kids. Won't know for sure that it is not cancer until the surgery when we do a biopsy. Kat: "Why do you think it's not cancer"? Dr.: "Because your bone is not angry, cancer makes the bone angry". Kat: "I've never thought myself to be an angry person". We laugh, laughter is needed. Dr. "Also, this cyst is full of blood which means it's an aneurysmic bone cyst and that also means it's grown so we need to get it out asap". Back to Kat's thoughts. I can do this. Tonight I have to go to the ER because my chest pain is so extreme. They give me pain medicine which so far hasn't worked much. Really God? Can I please have some pain relief? Ryan holds me as I cry...weep.

So, where am I now? I don't know why we are having to go through this, but I know God has a plan. We will grow and get closer to Him and that is worth it. I will choose joy. I am so thankful I do not have any pain in my hip and that my chest is not any worse. I am so thankful to have a wonderful man that loves me. He is affirmation that God is taking care of me. That God loves me. I could not do this without him. I am so thankful for my friends and my family. Their encouraging words and generous spirits are so humbling. We could not do this without them either. I am so thankful for God. Where would I be if didn't have anyone to put my trust in? If I felt that no one was in control?

For those who take the time to read this please pray for both Ryan and I. Please pray that my chest pain will subside. That everything will go well in surgery and of course that they will not find cancer. It's going to be a busy next few weeks with holiday plans, traveling, and getting ready for the surgery. I want to clean my house top to bottom and buy some cute pajamas. :) My surgery date is December 15th. Happy post birthday celebration! I will keep all updates on my blog. I also have an appointment with the cardiologist on December 9th. I have to get cleared with her before I can have surgery. My heart is fine, this cardiologist is supposed to be very helpful with young women and chest pain. Dr. Elliot said, "You are not alone, many women suffer with the same pain you do". Maybe God has me in chest pain so I won't be distracted with all this bone and surgery junk. Mission accomplished.

My Experience at Ala-Teen

A student of mine (let's call her Pocahontas) has a father who is an alcoholic. Out of support I offered to attend an Ala-Teen meeting with her. Ala-Teen is an organization that offers guidance, counseling, and support for the children of alcoholics. A little background on Pocahontas, she lives with her mother, has seen and been through some very traumatic experiences. She wants to do what is right and she wants to succeed. I feel a connection with her and I want to reach out to her before that window of opportunity is too late. Thus far, Pocahontas has surprised me. At a glance you think she is going to give you an attitude and nothing but trouble. God never stops teaching me. I was humbled by how wrong I was.

So Pocahontas and myself drive to this meeting. Immediately I am surprised by 2 things. 1. There are children in here that can't be over 7 years old! 2. There were over 15 children/adolescents in this meeting. We began the meeting the standard way...introduce yourself, "Hi, I'm Kat" and in unison I hear, "Hi Kat". The floor was opened for discussion.

Sharer number 1: (guesstimated age 14)

My best friend lives down the street from me. I walk to her house often. Last night I joined them for dinner. As I was hanging out with them I see a mom who is Betty Crocker, a dad, and a brother and a sister. We sit down and eat dinner together and there was not 1 fight. I went home that night and I felt really messed up inside. I want that so bad. So I took out a notebook and wrote down everything in my family I wanted to change. And I'm willing to make these changes. I'm even willing to get along with my mom's boyfriend. I gave this list to my mother and for about 2 days things changed but after that everything went back to the way it was. I was in the kitchen making easy-mac for my usual dinner and as I'm throwing away the box I see on top of the trash can my list crumbled up. I just stood there...all my hope had been thrown away in the trash can. I took my mac and habitually spent the rest of the evening in my room alone.

Sharer #2: (guesstimated age 12) I think we all want that. We all want a family. I have to make sure that my mom buys 7 TV dinners so I will have dinner every night of the week. I love my Dad, but he is responsible for him and I am responsible for myself. He tells me he's going to change and I know there's nothing I can do to make this happen. Last time he told me that I said, "I'll believe it when I see it."

Sharer #3: (guesstimated age 16) I had to decide who I wanted to live with. I told my Dad that I can't live with him because he is unable to set boundaries for himself, yet alone me. I don't do well when I don't have boundaries and structure.

Sharer #4: (guesstimated age 7) My dad is going away to treatment. I think he is only going to obey his mom. If that is true than that makes me really sad. If it's not true than it makes me happy.

Sharer: 5: (guesstimated age 11) I don't like getting in the car with my dad because he is always drunk and high. It makes me so sad because he's willing to put his life in danger, but what is even sadder is he's willing to put MY life in danger.

Pocahontas teared up several time through out this meeting. I teared up several times. To see these "adults" in young bodies share such wisdom and courage was so inspiring. I wanted to take them all home with me. I wanted to hold them all in my arms and tell them that you DO have a family. You have a whole kingdom! It's amazing how smart and aware these children are. For them to take the role of a parent broke my heart. Children desire to be taken care of, they desire to be loved. I wish I had their knowledge at my age. Despite their situations they still had hope. They chose joy. I want to thank these children for teaching me how important love is. I want to thank them for teaching me how important my choices are. I can only pray that they will continue on a path of maturity and that their parent's love them more to sacrifice a change.

Say a prayer for Pocahontas. I invited her to church this Sunday.

Happy Halloween!

Every year we have a Halloween party called "Trunktacular" with our church. The theme was
"famous children's movies" and our community group was assigned Peter Pan. We were having a hard time getting a man to dress up as the main character. None of the men jumped at the chance of wearing tights I guess? Go figure? I really wanted to be Tinkerbell! I mean, what girl wants to dress up as a pirate or a lost boy? I'm ALL girl and all about the glitter! So my wonderful husband said he would be Peter Pan for me! As I was researching Tinkerbell costumes I came to the conclusion that I was going to have to make my own because of money AND the inappropriateness of the adult costumes. I forgot that when adults dress up for Halloween they 'slut' everything up. Ha! No offense to anyone, it's just not kid friendly! I stayed up until 1:00 A.M sewing our costumes the night before! Quite a late night for someone who is used to going to bed around 9:00 P.M. It was a blast and totally worth it! We were a hit AND won 1st place! Very exciting!

Posing for our 1st place winning!

Match made in fairytale!

The finished product! I simply took a piece of glittery green fabric and wrapped it around my torso. My neighbor pinned it down the side to fit and I just sewed a line to follow. I cut the bottom to look jagged, added tights, wings, and straps. For the shoes I took left over fabric and hot glued it around some flat slippers I already owned. Next, I added the white pom poms on the top...just like Tinker Bell!

The picture I used for inspiration!

Woo Woo! What is it about a man holding a sword! To sew Ryan's outfit I took a t-shirt of his and placed it on the fabric for a pattern. I have no idea how to read a sewing pattern and I've never sewn any clothes before. I cut out 2 matching shirts and sewed them together. Next, I cut the sleeves and the bottom of his shirt while he was wearing it to make sure it looked right. I also sewed his hat. I cut out a square, folded it corner to corner in the shape of a triangle. I then sewed it down one side and turned it inside out! Lastly I just folded the bottom of the hat upward about half an inch...and wala! Peter's hat! For his shoes (can't see them to well in this picture) we cut out giant leafs from the green fabric and hot glued them to an old pair of house shoes. We couldn't find green tights so we used brown ones.

The picture I used for Peter Pan's inspiration.

Who would Tinkerbell be without her magic Pixy Dust? Here I am sprinkling glitter on the little girls that stop by to get candy. This is also a good shot of my hair. I googled how to fix your hair like tinkerbell and got this awesome style from a blog!

One of my favorite parts about my costume was the three tiny bells I sewed on the back of my wings. This helped me actually sound like Tinkerbell as I walked. This was my husband's idea!

Peter Pan fighting the evil Captain Hook! He's winning I might add. :)

Here's our Community Group "Peter Pan and all his friends"!

Rapunzel

Did I spell Rapunzel right? She is a beautiful girl who is a student of mine. She is close to my heart like most of my students in my groups. Groups are my favorite part of my job. I get to know the students inside and out. Their deepest passions and their deepest struggles. I rejoice with them when they share good news and I weep with them when they share devastating news. High school students have to face a lot. Conflict in the home, difficult parents, peer pressure, and much much more. Rapunzel has a wonderful group of friends, is gorgeous, talented, and a heart for the Lord. All this to be destroyed by a boy that she claims is her 'prince' who represents more of a beast. And not the kind in the fairy tale that has a giving heart under the hideousness. It breaks my heart to see this beautiful creature get the life sucked out of her from this relationship. I see it every year. Girl gets with boy, everything starts to fall apart. Her friend relationships become conflictual, she starts fighting with her family, she is miserable, she starts to question her faith, she slips on her morals, and so much more. Rapunzel is in an abusive relationship, verbal and mental. I want to rescue her and beg for her to please let our precious Father be her night and shining armor. It's been a battle for me. I will fight for her, love her, and speak truth to her. Yesterday, Rapunzel was in my office and I saw it in her eyes. Rapunzel has gone back to her so called "prince". I am angry. I am angry at the enemy and I am angry at the world we live in. The lies these precious girls believe makes me furious. She is giving up everything for what she has convinced herself is happiness. How many times will she survive the fall. And as I feel so defeated I am reminded that our Savior must feel like this everyday as His people whom he effortlessly and continually loves loves choose worldly things over Him everyday. He is there to with open arms as we return time after time. He weeps when we tear away and rejoices when we come back. Help me pray for Rapunzel. I pray for wisdom and patience. I pray for wisdom to guide her friends and her mother. I pray that God will captivate her heart. Please pray.