Surgery Smurgery...

For those of you who don't know it's been a very looong week. Last April they found a "giant cyst" inside my hip bone. View my older post "My Daily Battle" there's a lovely picture for those of you who really want to see it. Anyway, I go in for my 6 month follow up appointment last Thursday. On Tuesday, I get a phone call from a nurse. "Mrs. Crouse, Dr. Huxtable (no, that's not his real name for those of you who grew up watching the Cosby Show) wants you to see Dr. Cox (Scrubs anyone)". Kat now speaks, "Who is Dr. Cox"? Nurse: "Oh, I don't know I thought you would know". Kat: "No, I don't know who that is? Where is this Dr. located and why am I being referred"? Nurse: "I have no idea, let me call you back." Kat: "Yes, that would be wonderful for you to call me back with some actual information!

I got this phone call at work, call Superman (aka my hubby) at work crying. Superman is irritated and says, "Baby, don't worry I will take care of this". Fast forward a few hours later and Ryan gently breaks the information that I will be seeing an oncologist. So let me put the past few days in a nutshell. Many frustrating phone calls. Go to 2 hospitals and pick up every X-ray, CT scan, and MRI that has been taken on my hip area, extreme chest pain, "Could I really have bone cancer?", "I feel like my heart is going to explode", the day before my oncologist appointment was awful, chest pain so bad we debated going to the er, Ryan holds me numerous times as I cry...weep, Isaiah 41:10, I hope mom is okay, many phone calls from friends and family, I am so thankful for them, I am so thankful for my faith, "Why?", go to Vanderbilt hospital to the oncologist cancer center, there for 7 hours, saw at least 8 different doctors, Dr. Elliot is my oncologist surgeon, LOVE her! She is sensitive, genuine, and gives me a sense that she is going to take care of me. Need to have surgery soon, 3 days in the hospital, and 3 weeks recovery, you will still be able to have kids. Won't know for sure that it is not cancer until the surgery when we do a biopsy. Kat: "Why do you think it's not cancer"? Dr.: "Because your bone is not angry, cancer makes the bone angry". Kat: "I've never thought myself to be an angry person". We laugh, laughter is needed. Dr. "Also, this cyst is full of blood which means it's an aneurysmic bone cyst and that also means it's grown so we need to get it out asap". Back to Kat's thoughts. I can do this. Tonight I have to go to the ER because my chest pain is so extreme. They give me pain medicine which so far hasn't worked much. Really God? Can I please have some pain relief? Ryan holds me as I cry...weep.

So, where am I now? I don't know why we are having to go through this, but I know God has a plan. We will grow and get closer to Him and that is worth it. I will choose joy. I am so thankful I do not have any pain in my hip and that my chest is not any worse. I am so thankful to have a wonderful man that loves me. He is affirmation that God is taking care of me. That God loves me. I could not do this without him. I am so thankful for my friends and my family. Their encouraging words and generous spirits are so humbling. We could not do this without them either. I am so thankful for God. Where would I be if didn't have anyone to put my trust in? If I felt that no one was in control?

For those who take the time to read this please pray for both Ryan and I. Please pray that my chest pain will subside. That everything will go well in surgery and of course that they will not find cancer. It's going to be a busy next few weeks with holiday plans, traveling, and getting ready for the surgery. I want to clean my house top to bottom and buy some cute pajamas. :) My surgery date is December 15th. Happy post birthday celebration! I will keep all updates on my blog. I also have an appointment with the cardiologist on December 9th. I have to get cleared with her before I can have surgery. My heart is fine, this cardiologist is supposed to be very helpful with young women and chest pain. Dr. Elliot said, "You are not alone, many women suffer with the same pain you do". Maybe God has me in chest pain so I won't be distracted with all this bone and surgery junk. Mission accomplished.