Rapunzel

Did I spell Rapunzel right? She is a beautiful girl who is a student of mine. She is close to my heart like most of my students in my groups. Groups are my favorite part of my job. I get to know the students inside and out. Their deepest passions and their deepest struggles. I rejoice with them when they share good news and I weep with them when they share devastating news. High school students have to face a lot. Conflict in the home, difficult parents, peer pressure, and much much more. Rapunzel has a wonderful group of friends, is gorgeous, talented, and a heart for the Lord. All this to be destroyed by a boy that she claims is her 'prince' who represents more of a beast. And not the kind in the fairy tale that has a giving heart under the hideousness. It breaks my heart to see this beautiful creature get the life sucked out of her from this relationship. I see it every year. Girl gets with boy, everything starts to fall apart. Her friend relationships become conflictual, she starts fighting with her family, she is miserable, she starts to question her faith, she slips on her morals, and so much more. Rapunzel is in an abusive relationship, verbal and mental. I want to rescue her and beg for her to please let our precious Father be her night and shining armor. It's been a battle for me. I will fight for her, love her, and speak truth to her. Yesterday, Rapunzel was in my office and I saw it in her eyes. Rapunzel has gone back to her so called "prince". I am angry. I am angry at the enemy and I am angry at the world we live in. The lies these precious girls believe makes me furious. She is giving up everything for what she has convinced herself is happiness. How many times will she survive the fall. And as I feel so defeated I am reminded that our Savior must feel like this everyday as His people whom he effortlessly and continually loves loves choose worldly things over Him everyday. He is there to with open arms as we return time after time. He weeps when we tear away and rejoices when we come back. Help me pray for Rapunzel. I pray for wisdom and patience. I pray for wisdom to guide her friends and her mother. I pray that God will captivate her heart. Please pray.

Preparing for baby Jack!

A few weeks ago I drove up to Kentucky to help my best friend Catie organize her baby room. I should have taken a before and after picture, you couldn't even see the floor there was so much stuff on it. Most people walk into a room like that and get overwhelmed...I get energized! I'm making her sound like a slob...she's the total opposite. Her house is actually so clean and NO clutter which I love. I told her "just throw every baby item you get in the room and I will take care of it". :) I spent about 2 full days with her. I loved it so much! I loved getting to help her prepare for baby Jack. I know nothing about babies, but I love cleaning and organizing! It was the one thing that I felt like I could contribute. She took such good care of me while I was. She bought all my meals and coffee, we went shopping, and watched girly movies. Perfect weekend! I hope I didn't work her too hard though. :)

Curtain Call

Look how ugly these curtains are! Venetian blinds?! Yuck! If you have venetian blinds in your home I'm sure they look lovely, but in my house...nope!

Now look how beautiful these are! I know it only requires straight lines to sew curtains, but I was SO proud of myself. I had so much fun making them and it was the first project on my Grandma's sewing maching that she gave me over the summer.

Such pretty fabric!

My daily battle

Dear Fear, Pain, and Anxiety

You Suck

There is not a day that goes by that I do not feel light headed, nauseous, chest pain, and abdominal pain. I have battled these ailments since I was a little girl. With much embarrassment I think back to memories of me laying in the fetal position on an examination table due to excoriating pain. I don't always have ALL the symptoms everyday, but always have at least one of the symptoms. Well...I take that back, I have had chest pain everyday for the past 3 years. Have I been to the doctor you ask? Oh yes, many times. Here is how the story goes...in a nutshell.

Kat: I have pain in my stomach, pain in my chest, blood in my urine, and blood in my stool

Doctor: We will run lots of test and send you to lots of specialists

Doctor: We have found nothing, but take these drugs

Kat: Fantastic (sarcasm)

What the heck?! I feel like a crazy person. My family will state, "Katherine is the weak one, she was always sick". Hello! The pain is real people. I don't sleep with a heating pad every night for nothing. But then 2 things happened that have helped me come to some conclusions.

Number 1:

I found myself in another all too familiar place. The E.R. My abdominal pain was so severe that I could not walk. After many tests they could not find any medical explanation for my pain. Shocker. However, they did find and I quote, "A giant Cysts" inside my hip bone. Please see below.

The "Giant Cyst" is that dark colored spot in the right hip bone (it's your right but actually my left). Did that just confuse you more? Anyway, this "spot" they found made it a very interesting few weeks for Ryan and me. Let me break it down for you.

E.R. Doctor: We found this "Giant Cyst" oh and also this spot on your liver. It's probably nothing but could be something, anyway you need to get it looked at immediately.

A week goes by until I can get into my primary doctor...

Doctor: I have no idea what this is, did you google it?

Kat: Are you serious? Did you really just ask me, "Did you google it?" Can you give me my $25 co-pay back please, I saw this really cute shirt at Target and I would like to buy it with the money I just wasted on you.

Doctor: However, the thing on your liver is no big deal. People have those all the time.

Kat: Awesome! It would have been nice if the E.R. doctor would have told us that instead of us worrying about "nothing" for a week.

Doctor: You need to go see a bone specialist.

Another week goes by until I can get into the bone specialist.

Kat: (As I'm sitting in the waiting room of the bone specialist) "I'm the youngest person in here by 20 years"!

Bone Doctor: It's either cancer, a growing cyst that will take major invasive surgery, or it's been there since you were little and it's no big deal. You need to schedule a bone scan.

Kat: Hmm...I hope I don't have cancer in my bones. That would suck.

Jump forward a week...Praise The Lord, you don't have cancer. Come back in 6 months to see if it's growing. Woo Hoo! Ryan hugs me and we weep. Only the 2Nd time I have seen him cry. It was the first time he had seen me cry! Just kidding. In the words of my sister-n-law...more like the eleventyhundreth time.

Okay, so why am I rambling on about this? This incident changed our lives. I have asked God to show me His purpose of us going through such a awful thing. Ryan and I were forced to have conversations that we never thought we would be having our first few years of marriage. And I found myself saying, "I'm going to change a lot of things when all this mess is over". One being the color of our bathrooms. They are red and they make me think of death. But here's the thing...my hip NEVER hurt until they told me this "Giant Cyst" was inside it. That got me thinking. Our minds are very powerful. I wasn't crazy...there was actual pain in my hip. So I thought to myself, "I'm going to fight all these symptoms I feel on a daily basis". If my mind can make me feel pain, then my mind can make me feel healthy right?

Okay, number 2:

In class we learned about a condition called somotization. Somo what? Yeah, that's what I said. The Abnormal Psychology 14TH Edition states this as, "symptoms characterized by multiple physical complaints for which no physical causes can be found". Hmm...this is sounding familiar, I shall continue to read. People who experience somotization experience real feelings of pain, dizziness, nauseousness, and are sufferers of some type of sexual abuse and/or post traumatic stress syndrome. Yes, I said a sensitive word there...sexual abuse. For those of you who are thinking, "I can't believe she is saying this". We are only as sick as our secerets and it happened so I'm sorry if you are having a harder time dealing with it than me. It makes sense, people who struggle with PTSD experience terrible nightmares, feelings of shame, guilt, and much more. You will never understand unless you live it. It's not fun though. And with all the trials my abuse has caused me (we will save that for another bloggy day) this is the one I cannot seem to put behind me. I have been through counseling and I have faced all my issues. A lot of times people will become sick or hurt because they are not personally dealing with their issues and so the body finds other ways for it to release such stress such as pain. I have made one step though and that is through my thinking. I am no longer going to stop living life because I don't feel well. First of all, there are lots of people who feel a LOT worst than me. Secondly, until I am vomiting profusely, passing out, or in bed with a fever...I will prevail. If I'm feeling dizzy and I pass out...then someone will get me to a doctor. If I have severe abdominal pain, I'm moving on unless I am puking up blood. And guess what? So far, this IS helping! I did have to recently go to the doctor again because of stomach pain. But I also have continuous UTI infections (had them before I was married too so it's not the sex) and I want to make sure they don't go to my kidneys. Anyway, now I have to have more tests done to see why I keep getting those. But anyway, I'm not letting it scare me to the point that it did. This is HUGE. This was a long blog, probably the longest I will ever do. So those of you who actually stuck with me...thanks. I can't say I would have done the same. Let me end by repeating...

Dear Fear, Pain, and Anxiety

You Suck.

I Rule

With all that said, I'm not weak, but really strong. In fact I will leave you with the inspiring words of Beyonce:

I'm a survivor ,I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm gonna work harder, I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, Keep on survivin', I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm gonna work harder, I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, Keep on survivin'.

Boo Ya!

Definitely NOT Sleepless in Tennessee

Anyone who knows me knows that I love bedding. I am always looking at the different styles, colors, matching pillows..etc. Not only do I love bedding but I love sleeping in the bedding. Ha! The picture to the right is the beautiful duvet cover that is on my bed as we speak. It took me 8 months to pick out. That's right 8 months. So I think that gives me good reason to enjoy it. During this particular summer I am getting an average of 10-11 hours of sleep a night! I like to call this a hidden talent. At first, I was asking myself, "What is wrong with me"? Am I sick? Am I depressed? Then I ran across the verse where God talks about blessing us with rest. And I said to myself, "Kat, maybe you are tired from working 2 jobs, going to grad school, cooking, cleaning, etc." And I'm learning in my Esther bible study by Beth Moore (it's awesome by the way if you are looking for a study) that Satan loves to steal our joy away. Well NO more Satan. If I sleep 11 hours, than I sleep 11 hours! And I'm going to enjoy it while I can. Only 3 more weeks until I go back to work. I cannot believe how fast summer is going. This has been the quickest by far. Only 3 more weeks until I can sleep 11 hours a day! And let me tell you...I am having some CRAZY dreams. In fact, I will leave you with one of my latest ones. I was riding my bike in the snow, on my way to Krogers to meet my old dance team for dinner. They were not there so I went in the back looking for them and ran into my sorority sisters who were having a party. During all of this I was talking to my good friend Lindsey who was saying, "Kat, I promise you, this guy claims he is making more money selling concert tickets for Paul McCartney. Unfortunately he can only work 20 concerts because he rotates among his family".
Need I say more...P.S. Shout out to Pottery Barn for their pic!

Showing off my quilts!

Below are all the quilts I have sewn since last summer! The post before this has the one I made Catie as well. For the life of me I can't find where I uploaded those pics. I love sewing! My sweet Grandmothers have sewn all of their lives and I wanted to carry the tradition on. I could sew for hours. I love putting the pieces together and seeing it come together in the end. As cheezy as it sounds it makes me think of God. How much time he spent in piecing every single stitch that makes us up! And every stitch is important. Good and bad, because without that one single stitch...the piece as a whole would not stay together.

This is the quilt I made for my niece Anya Kate. Anya was named after me. I loved getting to make this for Emily, my sister-n-law and my twin brother, Kent.

Look closely at the pinwheels and buttons I sewed on. This was a big step in my quilting skills!


Izzy was a bridesmaid in my wedding. She is a cousin of Ryan. After trying for many years she was blessed with twin baby girls!

I picked a Noah's Ark theme. I loved this pattern.

This was my first quilt and my favorite. It's probably my favorite because it was my very first quilt, but I also think it is so beautiful. I got to make this for my first niece Libby. Pictured with me is actually my neighbor, Krista. She graciously taught me how to sew. We spent many hours at her house sewing this quilt together and getting to know each other. I've learned a lot more than how to sew. She is an incredible mother and her and her husband's hospitality is humbling. She is such an encouragement as well. She was a fighter for me in prayer when I was counseling all my young mothers through their pregnancies. Many babies have been saved because of their praying. I tear up just thinking about it.

This is the back. I ran out of the yellow material so I put a big ole purple stripe right down the center. I liked it. :)

My latest quilt!

I got the opportunity to host a baby shower for one of my dearest friends Catie. This young woman has touched my heart in so many ways. Her little boy Jack is due at the end of August. Here is the quilt I got to make for baby Jack! I LOVED the prints. It was the first "boy" blanket I got to make. I was excited to do that for her.

I love the details. I saw this in a book. It looks a lot easier than it really is. I needed to take a shower after carving out the watermelon. I was drenched in melon juice!

Here I am getting ready to make the first incision.